Forfeit
by 61wisampa
Summary: Because no matter how much she loves him, she can't chase after him forever.../...But just because she gave up on him doesn't mean he's giving up on her.
1. Say Something

**Disclaimer: **Neither To Aru nor the song 'Say Something' is mine. I hope they were though.

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><p><strong>Say Something<strong>

"You're leaving?"

She merely closed her eyes, not confident enough that she'd be able to pull through her resolve if she looked at him.

There they were in the middle of the airport in District 23.

She held the handle of her luggage trailing behind her, a single green suitcase protected by a Gekota padlock, in one hand and her violin case in the other. She wasn't wearing the uniform she should be adorning that school day and was instead in casual clothes.

He, on the other hand, was wearing his winter school uniform. He held nothing else, but the phone in his hand, and a look of disbelief and hurt on his face.

The announcement of her flight rang over their heads, and around them the crowd of people continued to pass them by.

She couldn't hear them though.

All her mind could register was deep, almost betrayed, pained voice.

She could hear his silent pants, brought about by running _who knows how far_ just to catch her before she left. She didn't know how he even found out. _He wasn't supposed to know she was leaving._

Maybe her friends took pity at him. Maybe they thought he deserved to know.

Maybe they knew only _he_ could make her stay.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his voice raspy—from the run or from whatever it was that he felt about her leaving.

_'Because,'_ her mind said but she refused to say it out loud, _'I'm giving up on you.'_

_Two years._ That's how long it took for her to finally give up chasing after him. She had tried _everything_, and she wasn't even sure anymore if he really was that dense, or if he chose to pretend to be because he just wasn't interested.

And so she decided to move on and leave Academy City. She'd been receiving countless letters from schools overseas, offering her very impressive exchange student programs that no sane student would turn down, and finally—_finally—_she decided to accept one that will send her all the way to Europe.

He was the only reason why she stayed anyway.

Her refusal to respond only seemed to upset him more as he exasperatingly called her, "Biribi—"

"_Don't_," she stopped him, not wanting to hear that _damned_ nickname he had given her. It was breaking down her resolve, crumbling it to pieces, "Just—Touma, don't…"

Her grip tightened around the handles of her suitcase and violin case.

She still refused to look at him.

"…Mikoto…"

She could _feel_ him approach her, but she was frozen. No longer was her mind connected to her body. No matter how many times she told herself to _get away from him_ her body just refused to move.

He stopped in front of her, and he asked in a whisper, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know I was obligated to."

"_Why didn't you_?"

She bit the inside of her cheek at his frustrated voice, "I don't have to tell you."

"Damn it, Mikoto, look at me!" he suddenly grabbed her by her shoulders, shaking her so forcefully that her eyes snapped open. But she kept her eyes averted, and this, he noticed, "Look at me, Mikoto," he held her chin, tilting her head to face him. She silently noted how his hold was still gentle even with the amount of anger he was radiating, "Tell me… please, why didn't you tell me?"

The sudden desperation in his voice seeped into her chest and her eyes unwillingly met his as she answered, "I didn't want you to know."

The hurt in his eyes was so apparent that she almost apologized right there. But she held her tongue as he murmured, "Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to convince me to stay."

She decided to be honest with him. There was no point. He knew. And whether he was aware or not, all he really had to do was ask her and she'd stay.

That was why she made it clear that she wanted to leave.

His hold on her loosened, and she felt his hands trail down along her arms as the slowly slackened to his sides.

"When will you be back?"

She averted her gaze again, unable to withstand the weight of his stare, "I don't know."

She could feel him watch her critically before he dared to ask, "Will you ever come back?"

"…I don't know."

Overhead, they heard the announcement of her flight.

Swallowing the words lodged in her throat, she told him, "I have to go."

She made a move to pass him but his hand secured her wrist before she could get far.

Her heart almost broke at the utter grief in his voice, "Why are you leaving?"

She didn't reply.

"Please, Mikoto," he begged, "Say something…"

Over the noise of the bustling crowd, she told him in a soft voice.

"I'm giving up on you."

There were no words; even after she pulled herself free from his grasp, or when she disappeared from his sight, and when it was announced that her plane had finally left, he couldn't think of anything to say that could've made her stay.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

Just something I came up with when I discovered the song** 'Say Something' by A Great Big World**. Listen to it while reading this. It was on loop on my playlist while I was writing.

Gah! the angst! And I was reading**_Facing Your Fears: Again!_**** by cupcakesarereallygood** (again) when I heard the song which is pretty much the reason why Mikoto's leaving and Touma didn't know. But the situation is a whole different thing :DDD

To those who are still patiently waiting for the updates of **_What Causes a Spark_**and **_A Certain Game of 20 Questions_****, **please believe me when I say I'm making steady progress with the chapters. Little by little, yes, but a steady progress still. But I keep scrapping scene after scene when I deem them not good enough and had to replace several pages of written work so it might take a little more while... thank you for the patience!

**~Any typos or grammatical errors?** I didn't proofread this so... yeah...

I hope you enjoyed reading this! :))

**~61wisampa**


	2. Let Her Go

**Disclaimer:** Let Her Go is by Passenger and To Aru is by Kazuma Kamachi. And those are not my name.

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><p><strong>Let Her Go<strong>

He was aware of how pathetic he looked during class the day after she left. He could feel the pitying stares of his classmates when he had his back on them. Even Komoe-sensei laid off on him, letting him zone out during class when normally she would call on him the moment he stopped listening.

He wasn't surprised that Fukiyose was the first to scold him either.

"Kamijou Touma!" she shouted the moment homeroom finished, "I thought you were going to stop Misaka-chan from leaving! Why did you let her?!"

He wanted to roll his eyes at her statement but found that he didn't have energy to do so. "She wanted to leave. Who am I to stop her?"

"Wha—Kamijou Touma, I misjudged you! I thought you were—"

"She didn't even tell me," he stated coldly, his hands tightening into fists, "She didn't even want to say goodbye. Did you think chasing her to the airport would've made a difference?"

Their next period teacher came in, making her unable to respond. But even if Fukiyose did have the time to reply, he knew she wouldn't have been able to say anything.

Shirai Kuroko's attack on him was even more predictable, but nonetheless, she managed to catch him off guard when she drop-kicked him the moment he crossed the gates of his school.

"You useless ape!" the pig-tailed teleporter bellowed as he groaned in pain, "I informed you of Onee-sama's departure so you could convince her to stay. But what did you do?" she roughly grabbed the collar of his shirt and glowered at him, "You just let her leave!"

"She didn't want me there anyway!" he shouted back as he broke away from her hold, "She didn't want me to stop her. She told me herself. What would you have me do?"

"Why you—you moronic, pathetic excuse of a man! Didn't you even try to find out why? Didn't you ask her?!"

"I told you, she didn't want me to convince her to stay!"

"That's not what I meant, you moron! Didn't she tell you why she was leaving?"

He froze. Suddenly, Mikoto's last words rang through his head.

_'I'm giving up on you.'_

His expression must've given his thoughts away because though Shirai's tone was still furious, it had mellowed down, "Did you even ask her to stay?" he flinched at the bitterness in her voice, "All you had to do was _say something_. She was giving up on you, but all you had to do was ask her. Didn't you realize that?"

He remained unmoving from his spot even after everyone in the school had gone.

He had never expected Tsuchimikado Motoharu, of all people, to tell him off.

All he could do was hold his aching jaw as he glared at the hybrid magician-esper after being punched.

"What the hell was that for, Tsuchimikado?" he growled.

"Nyah, just thought you needed a wake-up call, Kamiyan," the blonde said with an infuriating grin, "You did just mess things up with Misaka-chan."

He snorted, "When were you ever friends with her?"

"If you never realized, Maika's a good friend of Misaka-chan. Plus, we've done some business in the past but that's beside the point. I'm not doing this for Maika or myself."

His heated gaze never left the magician.

"I'm doing this for you, Kamiyan,"

He frowned at Tsuchimikado's statement, "What?"

"Why are you so broken up about her leaving? Even when Index left, you were never this bad."

"She didn't tell me goodbye."

"You had the chance. But instead, what did you do? You interrogated her about her departure."

"I wanted to know why she didn't tell me," he gritted his teeth, "And she said she didn't want me there."

"You still didn't stop her."

"She _wanted _to leave."

"Now, Kamiyan, we both know that's not enough to stop you from trying. With your stubbornness, she would've had to fight you just to get pass you," the magician pointed out, "So why didn't you?"

He could see what Tsuchimikado meant. He knew the magician was right. And as he asked himself the same question, he gripped his chest at the familiar emotion he felt when he watched her walk away.

"Did you really not stop her because she wanted to leave," Tsuchimikado asked, "or because she told you she gave up on you?"

He fisted on his hair, realizing what Tsuchimikado—what _everyone_—had been trying to tell him, why he was so desperate to talk to her before she left, why he had been so hurt that she kept her departure from him, and why he had felt so _dead_ when she was finally gone.

"You know what they say, Kamiyan," his friend's voice told him sympathetically, "You'll only know you love her when you let her go."

And he _let her go_.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

I'm thinking of this as a collection of closely related one-shots inspired by songs :DD and wow, angst angst angst.

Not many Kamikoto fans want to admit this but there really is a big possibility of Mikoto giving up on Touma. So basically, I'm showing something Kamikoto fans refuse to adhere: If Touma continues to be an idiot, Mikoto is better off with someone else.

by the way, I'm surprised that most of the reviews see this as Mikoto losing interest in Touma. I mean, to me giving up on someone isn't the same. She didn't lose interest, she just decided that she should move on but hasn't exactly achieved that... oh well, thanks to those who read! :))

this time it's **_Let Her Go_**** by Passenger. **I'd say I like Tyler Ward's cover better but the original is awesome as well. And if you've noticed, I've been taking lines from the songs. I hope that's not illegal though. I mean, posting the lyrics of a song is not allowed in FF I think. But if I do it like this, is it still considered a song fic?

Both chapters were done on one sitting while playing a single song on loop so if it wasn't very good, I apologize XDD but I REGRET NOTHING!

oh well. Thanks to YOU who read this! :DDD

**Do you have a good song for me that can continue our story?** If so, please tell me! If I like it and it fits, I'll use it for the next chapter :DD

**~61wisampa**


	3. Far Away

**Disclaimer: Far Away by Nickelback is the song used in this chapter. And if To Aru ever becomes mine, Touma and Mikoto will get together.**

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><p><strong>Far Away<strong>

When he saw her, he almost thought that she was a figment of his imagination. He stared at her from across the room, not quite believing his eyes.

She wasn't supposed to be here. She was in Europe, finishing her studies. She had no reason to come to America and attend the very conference party that his father had to go to for his father's company. _He _wasn't supposed to be here.

Kamijou Touma was not supposed to meet Misaka Mikoto in a random party two years after she left Academy City.

But the moment their gazes met, he stopped breathing.

Suddenly, the three years of wallowing in regret and self-pity, dreaming of her and what they could've been if he had stopped her, and hoping she'd come back the next day to give him another chance were gone. All the pain in his chest vanished and all it contained was his longing; to touch her, to hear her voice.

_God,_ why did he even let her leave in the first place?

Without breaking eye contact, he found himself approaching her. He didn't care about the people he shoved or the toes he stepped on. All he saw were those unbelievably hazel eyes that he missed so much, looking back at him with as much surprise as he had felt.

He stopped a feet in front of her, just staring at each other. She had grown the past two years. Her hair was longer and she was slightly taller, he guessed, because he had gotten taller as well but she didn't seem any smaller relative to him. She was dressed in a beautiful white dress with black linings, a formal attire fitting for the occasion. Her beauty overwhelmed him, unconsciously making him tug at his own suit nervously.

"It's been a while," he told her, unable to remove the small smile from his face.

She pressed her lips together as she nodded, replying, "You too, Touma."

For a moment, he was lost in his own world when his name rolled off her tongue. Suddenly, there was no party; there was only him and her, and he couldn't be more content.

He was snapped out of it though when one of the girls she had been talking to—he didn't even notice she wasn't alone—spoke up, asking in English about who he was.

He realized he had spoken in Japanese back then and that she had replied like that as well. He had learned the English language after starting college because his Business Management Course demanded it. So he was the one who answered her companion's question, introducing himself as Mikoto's old friend.

It was odd though because the moment he told the girl—Alice, he learned—his name, her face lit up as if she had just met a foreign celebrity. He could only smile politely back at her, shaking her hand as she traded meaningful glances with Mikoto. Not long after, she left, leaving him and Mikoto alone together.

It started off a little awkward, each of them not knowing what exactly to say to each other. She was the first to speak, asking him why he was there. He told her his father had a meeting, and, since he was staring his internship, his father brought him along. He found out that her father was there as well and she was merely accompanying him because she was a good friend of the host's daughter, Alice. She'd been in America for almost two years, leaving London after a year.

Their conversation came easier after that. It was as if they hadn't been apart for three years, as if she hadn't been so far away.

It was in the middle of him telling her about her old roommate and her other friends that the dance floor was cleared. A song played and different couples walked towards the middle and began to dance. For a minute, the two of them just watched, seeing lovers, friends and colleagues of different ages sway with the music. But when he glanced at her and saw her smiling gently at the scene, he couldn't stop himself.

"Would you like to dance?"

She snapped her head towards him, surprised of his suggestion, "Dance? But… you dance?"

He put a hand to his chest, putting on a mock hurt expression, "Do I look that uncivilized to you? That was Shirai's first reaction too when she found out."

She giggled, "Well, you can't really blame her. Besides, I just didn't think an idiot like you would even bother to learn formal dance."

He gave her his best smile, "Then let me show you how good of a dancer this idiot is."

He led her to the dance floor, entwining their hands and holding her close by her waist. Her other hand settled on his shoulder, and then their eyes met.

For a moment, he was enchanted. He had forgotten how beautiful her eyes were and seeing it again after such a long time took his breath away. His grip tightened a little around her hand to reassure himself that this was real, that she was really in his arms.

They began to dance with the song, and he had never been so thankful of those dancing lessons he had to take. Once again the world around them disappeared, and all there was, was him and her and the music they were waltzing to. He couldn't avert his eyes from hers, unable to keep himself from familiarizing her face and engraving it into his mind. How was he able to withstand not seeing her?

"I've missed you," he whispered to her as the song neared its end.

She smiled a little, but it almost seemed melancholic to him, "I've missed you too."

He swallowed a little, hesitating and wondering if it would be out of line for him to ask, "Will you go back to Academy City?"

She stopped then, staring expressionlessly at him.

So he continued, "I know it was my fault why you left… and I regret that every day. But I…" he licked his lips nervously, saying what he had been wanting to tell her all these years, "I want us to have another chance, Mikoto. Please… can we?" he pleaded as the song overhead ended.

She took her eyes away from him, much like she had done that day in the airport. She took a careful step back, prompting him to release her, "Touma, I… it's not that easy—"

"Please," he said again, trying to catch her gaze, "_please…_"

Finally, she looked at him, but all he saw were her tear glazed eyes and her pained face as she shook her head, "I'm sorry but… I have to go."

For a moment, he stood there as he watched her walk away. He knew he had messed up, and that saying sorry wouldn't suddenly make everything better and back to the way it was. He felt conflicted, unsure whether he should chase after her or let her be, but when he caught sight of her retreating back, he was suddenly back at that airport three years ago.

He couldn't let her go.

He chased after her, pushing through the crowd and saying half-hearted apologies to people he ran into. He had heard his old man call for him too but he ignored it, struggling to catch sight of her hazel hair. He saw her leaving the room and he quickly followed, knowing that he couldn't make the same mistake he had done before.

"Mikoto, wait!" he called out when he finally caught her wrist in the empty hall outside the room. "Please just… just let me—"

"_No_, Touma," she told him firmly, her bangs covering her eyes as stood as far away from him as she could with her wrist in his grasp, "I'm not doing anything for you anymore. I told you, I gave up on you."

"Then how did your friend know who I was?" he demanded, hoping that deep down, she still loved him the way she had, "You told him about me, didn't you?"

"No, I di—"

"You're lying," he stated, because even after all this time, he could still tell when she's being dishonest and he was thankful that, at least, hadn't changed, "You still have feelings for me."

Her eyes sharpened into a glare and she began to push him angrily, "Look here, you conceited jerk, I am _over you_. And how Alice knew about you is none of your business, so let me go before I shoot my railgun at you."

He suddenly grabbed her other hand, making sure that his Imagine Breaker was touching both of her wrists. With a soft voice, he asked, "Then why are you running away from me?"

She stopped struggling then.

He watched her as her limbs lost their strength. He altered his hold on her, so that instead of her wrists, he was holding her hands, "Please, Mikoto," he begged once again, "Give me one more chance."

Finally she looked up at him, tears running down her cheeks, "I can't."

He couldn't breathe, and even as she pried her hands away from his hold, he couldn't find the strength to stop her.

But with one last desperate attempt, he called out to her gently, "I love you," her walking halted, "I've loved you all along… I'm sorry I didn't realize it until you left."

There was a pause before she whispered back, "It doesn't matter anymore,"

He let out a defeated chuckle, running a hand down his face. His cheeks were wet. "Yeah…such misfortune…"

She started walking again and with each step she took, he felt his heart break. If he had chased her three years ago, would it have changed anything?

"Hey, Mikoto," she paused again, waiting for him to continue, "If I had asked…" he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, "if I had told you I love you back then," he couldn't stop his voice from breaking when he asked, "…would you have stayed?"

For a moment, she didn't speak. But then she turned back and gave the saddest smile he had ever seen, "It was what I needed to hear you say."

All he could do was hold himself until he could no longer hear her footsteps. Only then did he break down, sliding down against the wall when his legs couldn't support him. He couldn't breathe, because once again, he could think of no words that would have made her come back.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

the song was suggested by **SQuietSA**, a guest user so I couldn't reply to you via PM. Thanks!

Again,** I need song suggestions** that may continue this story. I really _really_ want them to end up together but i can't think of a nice song! So please, I need your help! :DD

I hope you liked this chapter :33 and thanks to those who reviewed and favorited this story :))

**~~61wisampa**


	4. 12:51

**Author's Notes: **I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THIS

**Disclaimer:** To Aru would not be this awesome if I thought of it first... and **12:51 by Krissy and Ericka**

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><p><strong>12:51<strong>

"Mikoto-chan?"

Mikoto was hurriedly walking down the staircase of her friend Alice's mansion when her mother caught her in her escape. She stopped short, turning away and wiping her cheeks with her wrists to hide the tears even though she knew Misuzu would've easily seen right through it.

With a stable voice, she replied when her mother called out to her again, "What are you doing here, mama? I thought you had an emergency meeting."

Misuzu stared critically at her for a moment before approaching her and taking a hold of her hand. Without saying a word, Misuzu led her away.

She didn't fight, found out that she didn't have the energy to do so, but she asked, "Where are we going?"

Her mother's expression was serious, "The garden," she responded, not looking at her, "We need to talk."

Numbly, Mikoto followed her mother. She felt so tired and messed up that she didn't even realize they were beside the garden until Misuzu sat her down the stairs leading down from the little veranda.

Her mother sat down beside her, hesitating for only a moment before asking, "You saw _him_, didn't you?"

She turned her head in surprise, not even needing the confirmation to know who Misuzu was talking about. "You knew?" she asked in disbelief.

Misuzu pursed her lips into a tight line, "Shiina and I kept in touch."

And suddenly, everything seemed to make sense; her mother's odd behaviour the past week and insistence on making her come to a business party. There was no way that the fact that _he_ was here too was a coincidence. Her parents and his probably set it all up, knowing how it had ended between them.

Air left her lungs as realization settled in. And here she thought Fate was playing a bad joke on her.

She turned away from her mother, having no desire to see her face. "Why?" she asked quietly, unable to prevent a little anger from lacing through her voice.

"I thought it would be the best for you two," Misuzu answered just as quietly, "I know the two of you broke off in bad terms. I had hoped you'd get over it after some time but three years after, you still didn't smile quite as bright as you used to."

She let out a breath of bitter laughter, "And what, you think that when we see each other again we'll just go back to what we were? Or are you hoping we'd actually get together after this? The meddling mothers' match made in heaven finally coming true…"

"For what it's worth, Mikoto-chan, I don't want you to be with him anymore," Misuzu admitted in such a serious voice that her gaze snapped back to the older Misaka. Mikoto was waiting for her to explain but Misuzu never elaborated what she meant. "I just want you to have closure. You left hoping he'd care enough to try to stop you, but when he didn't, you forced yourself to forget him yet you can't."

Her fists clenched at her mother's words, unwilling to admit Misuzu was right.

"You're still hoping, Mikoto-chan," Misuzu said, "And I don't think you'd ever stop hoping if you never see him again."

"…closure, huh?" She couldn't stop the scornful smile that crept onto her face, "All this meeting did was open up old wounds, Mama, old wounds and bitter regrets."

Misuzu didn't reply immediately, as if she was pondering over her own actions. Mikoto was a little upset with her for setting the whole thing up, but Mikoto couldn't deny that she _had_ wanted to see him again. Her mother was right, she and that idiot broke off in bad terms, and if given the chance, she would want to remedy that. But not this way; not when she wanted to move on while all he did was try to get her back.

It made her doubt the resolve she had built up the past three years, as if everything she had done to forget him was suddenly thrown away the moment he met her eyes. It had been so full of longing, those blue orbs she used to love so much (and it seemed like she still did), that the feeling she thought she had left suddenly came rushing back to her.

"What happened?" Misuzu quietly asked.

Her hands balled into fists as she recalled everything he had said, "He told me he wanted me back, that he wanted us to have another chance," her mother's hands suddenly settled on top hers and she revelled on the support Misuzu was offering, "I shouldn't care… it shouldn't matter to me anymore but… it does…"

"Mikoto-chan?"

"I thought my feelings were gone," she bit her lip as her eyes began to water, "But it's not, Mama… and I hate the way that I care that _he's_ hurt a lot more than I care that_ I'm_ hurt."

"…you told him no…" realization was laced through Misuzu's words.

"I'm scared," she admitted with a tremble in her voice, "I've tried so hard for so long to forget him, but suddenly, he crashes back into my life claiming that he wanted me back? When he had been the one to let me leave in the first place? It's not fair, Mama. I left my friends, my life in Academy City because of him. And now he wants me to do that again?"

Her mother immediately enveloped her in an embrace when the dam broke. She held onto Misuzu for dear life as the older woman whispered, "You don't have to."

"But a part of me _wants_ to." She said, hugging Misuzu closer, "What should I do, Mama?"

"Oh, Mikoto-chan," she felt Misuzu's hands rub her back soothingly and she soaked up the comfort it offered. With a kiss to her forehead, she heard her mother murmur, "Do whatever it is that you truly want. You said you left Academy City because of him? Then let this"—Misuzu put a hand on her chest where her heart was located—"decide again what it is, but this time, use this"—a finger tapped against her temple—"to find out if you'll be happy with that decision. Know that I'll support you in whatever you choose. All I want to make sure is that, this time, you won't have any regrets."

She felt herself calm down at her mother's words. And when she had finally stopped the tears, she repeated, "No regrets?"

"Promise me, Mikoto-chan."

There was a pause before she nodded, "I promise."

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

ohmygosh this is probably the worst chapter yet XP I really don't like how this turned out. and by the way **To all who suggested songs, THANK YOU SO MUCH!** but there really wasn't any song that got my attention for this chapter... except for that single line in this song, _"It's 12:51 and I thought my feelings were gone."_ the song got me through half way but then nothing

I'm so sorry if this is as disappointing as i think it is. But i really had to show Mikoto's side here before going back to Touma. I posted this because someone already suggested the _perfect_ song for next chapter and I just wanted this to get it over with XDD I'm writing the next chapter now :DDD

Again, sorry

hope you won't stop reading this because of this chapter... hehe

**Any violent reactions?** please just don't kill me XD

**~~61wisampa**


	5. It's Not Over

**Disclaimer: **I own To Aru as much as Mikoto is not a tsundere.

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><p><strong>It's Not Over<strong>

_'__I should go…'_

Touma thought as he listened to the announcement that his and his father's flight back to Japan has begun boarding. Beside him, Kamijou Touya stood up from his seat, grabbing his suitcase and heading towards the gate.

"Are you coming?" Touya asked him, stopping after a couple of steps when he didn't stand up.

It was 4 am. She should still be asleep. But the desperate part of him was hoping that she'd suddenly show up the same way he did three years ago.

No, she wouldn't. She'd made it clear to him two nights ago. It was over. _They _were over. There was no point delaying their flight because of some wishful thinking. He has to go back to Japan now—_without her._

Touma looked at his clenched fists, still feeling conflicted.

_'__But… I don't want to go without her…'_

After a moment, he responded, "Yeah, sorry."

They both lined up, readying their passports and tickets, but his mind was elsewhere, being dragged back to two nights ago.

He had found out from his father that Shiina had contacted Misuzu for this meeting. It was funny because for a moment, he had thought that Fate had been kind and had given him another chance, but as it turned out, it was all the two mothers' plan. His parents had known about Mikoto, of course, and how bad he was after she had left. After realizing how he felt for her, he thought that she needed space, so he resisted the urge to contact her. But a week later, when he finally did, her phone number was no longer available and Misuzu-san had forbidden him from contacting her daughter.

_"__You had your chance, Touma-kun,"_ Misuzu had told him sadly, _"__So I'm sorry, but I won't let my daughter get hurt by you again."_

He wondered what made her change her mind. Why had she helped set this meeting up after all this time?

_"__It wasn't supposed to be another chance," _his father had said the morning after the party while he was still hung-over from getting himself drunk, _"__You were supposed break things off on a better note, not try to get her back."_

He didn't pretend to not be hurt by his father's statement. Touya knew he still loved her. Why would he say that after setting this horribly wonderful meeting?

But then, his father smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, asking almost tauntingly if that was the extent of his feelings for her. Was he really giving up after a single rejection?

Sometimes, he didn't know what Kamijou Touya thinks.

_'__Mikoto has mentioned you only once,' _Alice had told him when she asked to meet him the day before, _'__but that one time that she did, she told me that it's your stubborn attitude, that never give up mindset of yours that she had always admired the most,'_ she had stated, looking at him critically, _'__Now tell me, Mr. Kamijou, are you still the man she used to admire?'_

"Touma?"

His head snapped up at his father's call, seeing him on the other side of the gate. An employee had a hand out asking for his ticket and passport, looking very impatient.

He met Touya's eyes once again and said, "I'm not going." His father's eyes widened and a grin crept up into his face. "I'm not giving up that easily."

Touya stared at him for a moment before smiling, "I knew you won't," with a flick of his hand, he tossed something into the air which Touma caught in surprise. When the younger Kamijou inspected the object, he realized it was their hotel key. "I booked an extra week for you, and your ticket should last for another ten days."

He had never felt so grateful of his father, "Thank you," he breathed, unable to say anything more.

And when he got Touya's encouraging nod, he wasted no time and ran.

It was 4:15 am now. She would still be asleep. But he has just enough time to throw his luggage back to his hotel room and go to her dorm.

* * *

><p>Mikoto stared at the blanket covered figure on the bed on the other side of the room. Alice was still asleep. Unlike Mikoto, Alice didn't have class until 10 so her roommate had the right to sleep in.<p>

It was during these rare times when she woke up before her alarm with Alice still sleeping on the other bed that she misses her best friend in Academy City the most. She half expects Kuroko to teleport out of bed and jump at her, and then she'll respond by shocking her to senses.

Her phone alarm rang saying it was six o'clock. She should start getting ready if she wanted to have breakfast before going to her 7 am class.

She sighed before swinging her legs out of her bed and standing. She did some stretches, getting rid of the final recesses of sleepiness, before heading towards the sink and doing her morning rituals.

She had just finished brushing her teeth when there was a loud knock on their door. She heard Alice groan a little and it made her frown. Who could be visiting so early in the morning? She hurried to the door, hoping that whoever it was would be patient enough to not knock again so Alice wouldn't wake up.

When she reached the knob, she swiftly opened the door.

...and froze.

"Mikoto..."

"...Touma..."

She must be dreaming.

He was supposed to leave. He was on a plane back to Japan right now.

They were never supposed to see each other again.

It took her a moment to realize that he was panting lightly, as if he had been running. There were also bags under his eyes but his gaze on her never wavered, and there was a solid determination in those blue orbs that she had not seen since she left Academy City.

For a moment, it seemed like she was transported back in time, to when they were still friends.

...back when she was still so hopelessly in love with him.

After all, it was that unwavering resolve that she had admired about him so much.

There was a long moment of silence between them until he broke it, "Mikoto, I—"

"How did you get in here?" she cut him off, unwilling to listen to him for now. Besides, he was in her college dormitory building. The rules weren't as strict as Tokiwadai and Nagatenjouki's but she was certain she had never told him where _here_ was.

His eyes darted to the side of her face, looking over her shoulder, before promptly going back to her. It took her less than a second to realize why.

"Alice." They both said at the same time; him in a tentative tone, as if he was unsure if he should really tell her, and her in a tone that clearly meant that she was mentally cursing her roommate.

"What do you want?" she asked impatiently, still holding the door in a semi-opened state so she could easily close it if need be. The sooner this conversation is over, the sooner he could leave.

"I need to talk to you." He answered.

"_What are you doing here?_"

He seemed to have gotten the message and said, "I'm here to ask you for another chance."

She stared at him deadpanned, not quite believing that he actually had the audacity to say those things. When she was sure that he was serious, she responded with a flat, "No." before slamming the door in his face.

But he quickly jammed his foot in the door's way, stopping it from fully closing, "Wait, wait! Listen to me!" he frantically said, using a hand to keep the door open when she pushed harder.

Through the thirty centimeter gap that he managed to maintain, she glared at him, "Just leave, Touma. We already had this conversation. So just" she gave the door another hard push, hoping it would hurt him enough to make him retract his foot, "go back to Japan and we'll never see each other again. End of story."

He seemed to be a little conflicted, his gaze falling for a moment as he thought. But then, he met her eyes again, "You said you gave up on me," he stated. She froze. "But I'm not giving up on you."

She wasn't sure of how to react at his declaration, so she ended up staring at him in masked surprise.

"Let's start over," he continued in a half-pleading, half-persuading voice, "I'll try to do it right this time around."

"..."

"I won't make the same mistake of letting you go." He almost promised, "Not this time."

She found it difficult to match his gaze so she averted hers, her arms losing the strength to push him away.

Even after all this time... he hasn't really changed, has he?

She finally let go of the door, moving in front of it so she could fully face him without it as a shield. Calmly, she crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe, asking him in a challenging tone, "And what makes you think that you actually have a chance?"

She noticed him lick his lips before pursing them, a nervous habit he never seemed to have grown out of, "I don't."

His admission made your eyebrow rise, "And you're wasting your time here because...?"

"It's a very small chance, I know." he admitted, "But I'm not giving up because of something as measly as a chance. You're too important."

She snorted disbelievingly at his words, "That's rich coming from you. Or have you forgotten what happened between us three years ago."

He visibly flinched, but she couldn't bring herself to care anymore, "I didn't realize it back then."

"So what? Even as a friend, I wasn't _important_ enough for you?"

"Mikoto—"

"Two words, Touma." She gritted out. The memory of them at the airport brought back the pain that came with it. And with the pain, so did the bitterness and anger. She clenched her fists, trying with all her might to prevent herself from hitting him. "All you had to say were two words, and none of this drama would've happened. I would've stayed even if it meant pinning after you everyday for several more years without you noticing me."

"..."

"Don't go." She spoke the two words that he hadn't. "That was all you had to say, and I would never have left." She confessed, and even though she knew how pathetic her words were, she needed to tell him. She wanted to know if he really cared at all. "Did you even realize that?"

He was silent for a moment, looking guilty and regretful, "...a little too late."

She stared at him sadly, disliking those expressions on his face. But after all he had put her through, she couldn't find it in her to offer any comfort. "Just leave, Touma." she told him again, this time in an almost whisper, "I have a life here now. And I'm not leaving everything again just for that overdue chance of yours."

She was already behind the door again, ready to close it, when he spoke up, "Don't you want to go back? Everyone misses you."

Her anger spiked, and she instinctively slammed the door close only to be stopped by him again. She growled, "Don't you even dare bring _them_ into this."

"But it's true." he said, struggling against her force, "I'm not asking you to leave your life... I'm asking you to come back to it, back to us..." his voice lowered to a begging tone, back to me."

His words only angered her more and she rammed her shoulder against the door, making him yelp as his foot finally felt the pressure, "Damn it, Touma, just go! _This _is my life now. I have friends. I go to a decent university. I have a future here." Again and again, she forced the door close in a futile effort. "So just get your ass on a plane back to Japan and don't bother me again."

"I'm not leaving until you give me a chance!" he told her firmly.

"You've had your chance!" she retorted, relentlessly pushing at the door, at him. She was not making the same mistake again. "Three years ago, and everyday after that, but you never did anything! Why should I give you something you never took?"

"Because I'm taking it _this time_!"The tone of his voice made her stop, and they stared at each other silently. His pleading eyes were locked onto hers when he asked one more time, "Please, Mikoto... just this once."

"..."

"Give me one week. Just one week to convince you to come back."

She matched his gaze with a glare, "And then what?" she asked, her voice mocking, challenging, "By the end of this week, you just expect me to leave everything I have here and go back to you?"

"You've done it before," she flinched when he pointed out, but there was no trace of the bitter tone she had expected, "But this time you're doing it for the opposite reason."

She suddenly felt tired. Why was he doing this? Why won't he just leave her alone so she could finally move on? Didn't he know how _hard _it is to be mad at him? To push him away when all her heart seemed to scream was—"…why are you being so adamant about this?" she quietly murmured..

"I told you," he repeated softly but firmly, "I'm not giving up on you."

She stared at him for a long moment before saying, "One week." He seemed to have been so surprised that he let his guard down, enabling her to push him away and finally slam the door on his face.

From the other side of the door, she could hear him speak in a slightly dazed state, "Hey, was—was that a yes? It's a yes, right?" She offered no reply. "So uh… I can walk you to class, right?" Silence. "Uh… sure, okay. I'll just… I'll wait out here…"

Listening through the wood that separated them, she smiled softly. He really hasn't changed. But as the conclusion of their conversation finally sank in, her lips curved into an almost scornful expression. She wasn't sure what had compelled her to agree but she cursed the stupid emotion in her chest anyway. She could only pray to whatever god is out there that she wouldn't regret this decision.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

Song was suggested by SigmundrRumare. Thanks a lot!

And so the seven days of Touma trying to make Mikoto fall in love with him begins... I already have two more songs on the list but they're gonna happen AFTER the whole week so if you want some cute fluff or something you can suggest a song like that XDD

Sorry for the wait, by the way. I was preoccupied by things like Kill la Kill and K-On! to actually make much progress hahaha

I'm not sure how to feel about this chapter. On one hand, it was the line "You told me you gave up on me, but I'm not giving up on you." was the very first thing I though of for this chapter but I'm not sure if it's any good... thanks to everyone who read the last chapter and said it was okay! I really had my doubts there hehe

Hope you liked this chapter! And to those who read _**What Causes a**_** Spark**, I did a fanart for it ;) link is in my profile

see you again soon!

**~61wisampa**


	6. Kismet

_**Disclaimer: To Aru is like a slot in a full class; no matter how much you want it, someone else already owns it.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Kismet<strong>

* * *

><p><em>'This kismet's a dance.'<em>

* * *

><p>"What are you doing here?" Mikoto asked when she found Touma of all people outside her first class. Sure, he had walked her to the building but he didn't have an ID so he couldn't come inside. So how did he get in this time?<p>

He grinned in response, showing the Visitor's ID clipped to the bottom right of his shirt, "I talked to the guard and found out I could get one of these. And since most of your classes are in this building, I can walk you to all of them and wait for you. Convenient, isn't it?"

"You didn't have to do that. I'm sure you have other things you could be spending your time on. You can just come by the entrance when my classes are over."

"But that greatly limits the amount of time I could be spending with you," he reasoned, taking a hold of the shoulder bag she was carrying—same as earlier this morning—and hanging it on his shoulder, "C'mon then. As much as I want to keep you with me, I have the feeling that you'll blame me if you get scolded going late to class." he said as he jerked his head towards the hallways, prompting her to start walking.

She began leading them to her next class, telling him, "We have a fifteen minute grace period between classes. I don't really need to hurry." She frowned at him as she continued, "But even then, it's not like we'd be able to hang out much. Why are you so persistent?"

"Because I, Kamijou Touma, is on a mission to make you, Misaka Mikoto, fall back in love with me in one week," he announced and she stopped at her steps. He gave her a smile as he told her, "I know you said you're over me, but I'm still hoping that there's some part of you that still feels the same way."

She offered no reply to that as they walked to her next class.

* * *

><p>Mikoto stood, eyes wide and mouth agape as she stared at the scene in front of her. Given the situation, there was only one thing that she was able to say.<p>

"What the _fuck_?"

There was a low chuckle and she turned towards the voice, "You actually cursed in English." Touma grinned, holding a bouquet of red roses in front of his chest. A soft strumming of a guitar reached her ears, and when she looked around to find its source, a guy she didn't know, but obviously goes to this University judging from his t-shirt, followed by a girl carrying a violin and another guy appeared from the gathering crowd, walking towards the space between her and Touma while solely looking at her. After a while, the guy that wasn't carrying any instrument began to sing.

_"__Didn't mean to take you for granted.  
>Didn't mean to show I don't care..."<em>

She decided to ignore the singing group and continued to look around as she felt her cheeks heat up. Scattered on the ground around them were rose petals, and it made her internally wince as she thought of how mad Benny, the janitor she had become quite acquainted with, would be when he sees the mess.

She noticed her professor from the class she had just come out of peek outside the classroom. She stiffened, looking like a deer caught in headlights and stuttered to explain what was happening. To her utter surprise, he merely hummed, seemingly impressed, "Ms. Misaka."

"Y-yes, professor."

Her professor smiled at her, "Just tell your suitor to clean up all these petals afterwards, alright? You wouldn't want Benny to be angry at you."

_'S-s-suitor?!' _For a moment she could only blink at the man in surprise and embarrassment, but somehow managed to reply. "Uh... yes, sir."

With that, her professor exited the room with a nod towards Touma.

She couldn't believe this was happening...

"So Mikoto," she turned back to Touma when he once again spoke, in English, she silently noted, "I'm on Day 2 out of the seven days I have to make you fall in love with me," some people amongst the crowd 'Aww'-ed. He slowly strode towards her as he said, "I know I still have a long way to go... but will you give this misfortunate idiot a chance to go with you on a proper date?" he finally asked, offering the bouquet to her.

She blushed harder at his actions and the excited gasps around her didn't help her any. How was he even able to pull this off? And of all places, why at school? She mentally slapped herself. She should have known that he was up to something when he seemed distracted earlier.

Everyone had become silent as they waited for her answer. She suddenly felt incredibly shy with all the attention she was getting. "What the hell are you doing?!" she hissed to him in Japanese as to not let anyone else understand their conversation.

Thankfully, he replied in the same language, "I just told you, I''m asking you out on a date."

"Yes, but why here?" she gritted her teeth, uncomfortable of all the stares she was getting. "Why now? Look at all the people that's gathered..."

"Well, I was roaming around campus yesterday trying to get an idea of what I could do for you when I met these really nice people," he jerked his head towards the singing group as he explained, "They gave me some tips, and they told me girls like big displays like this. They helped me think this plan out, and somehow I got them interested enough that they volunteered to help me."

Her palm connected with her forehead at his wide grin, "Really, you..."

"So?" he prodded, shaking the bouquet he was still holding out for her so that it would get her attention, "Is that a yes or a no?"

She stared at flowers, contemplating whether she should go along with his plan or not. She guessed it _was _kinda sweet of him to go through all this trouble just to—no, wait, scratch that, this was still way too embarrassing. "Before that, can you ask them to stop singing first?"

He shook his head, "No can do. They said they won't stop singing unless you give me an answer."

"..."

"...so?"

She narrowed her eyes at him before crossing her arms indignantly and giving in, "Alright! Fine, I'll do it. Just stop them already!"

But he didn't move, and instead looked expectantly at her.

She felt unnerved by his look, "...what?"

He rolled his eyes to the side, indicating the crowd that was still surrounding them. "You spoke in Japanese. They didn't know what you were saying."

"So?"

"How would they know how to react if you won't speak in English or even accept the flowers I'm giving you?"

She covered her face with her palm. She could feel how hot her face had become from all her blushing. She couldn't believe that he was subjecting her to something like this. What the hell was he thinking?

She let out a groan before looking at him again, and with a red face, she announced in English, "Yes, Touma, I'll go on a date with you."

The crowd erupted in cheers as she finally took the bouquet of roses he was offering her.

Side by side, they walked together to her next class, trying to ignore the squeals of random girls and the quickly spreading news of their so called courtship.

* * *

><p>"Why are you doing this?" Mikoto asked Touma as they walked around the park, the day before he was set leave, on the date that she had promised him earlier that week.<p>

He had just thrown away the cups of the fruit shake they had purchased, and he gave her that same look of determination as he answered, "I told you, didn't I? I—"

"That's not what I meant," she cut him off, turning to the scenery of the park filled with families and other couples who were on dates just like them. Well, maybe not like them, she thought grimly, because they weren't really a couple. He wanted to, and if she would be honest with herself, a part of her wanted it as well but there was something holding her back, and she couldn't just push it away.

"Why are you doing this now?" she rephrased her earlier question, looking back at him, "Why now after three years? You could've just as easily left, like the way you didn't do anything to stop me when _I _was leaving." She saw him flinch at her reminder, and though she felt a little bad for it, she needed to know, "Why did you stay when you could've left? It would have been easier for you to do that."

"No, it wouldn't," he said, casting a melancholic gaze at her, "I would've been even more miserable compared to when you first left. I'm sure Misuzu-san never told you about it, but I blamed myself for letting you leave. There wasn't a day that I wondered, if I had said something to you back then... would you have still left?" he paused for a moment and she carefully studied how his expressions became sadder as he spoke, reminiscing the past three years. "I didn't know how much I liked having you with me until I... I started missing you..."

She tried to keep her expression blank as he continued in a pained voice, "When I saw you again, I... I couldn't think. I just wanted to hear your voice again. And when I held you as we danced that night, I knew I can't lose you again; I knew I had to try and win you back," as he said this, his eyes sharpened and determination once again filled his face, "That's why I'm doing this."

"This isn't a dance, Touma," she replied in a hard tone, "There are no steps, and there is no grand finish at the end. I'm not your partner so don't expect me to just follow your lead."

He frowned at her words, "I'm not trying to force you, if that's what you're saying. I'm trying to convince you." He insisted, casting her another pleading gaze, "Please listen to me. I believe that we're here now _together_ for a reason."

"It isn't kismet that we met again." She snapped, "This is just the result of poorly thought ploy by two meddling mothers. Don't you know? We were both at that party because they set us up."

"Of course I know! How did you think I felt when my father told me that our meeting was for me to say goodbye to you permanently?" He almost shouted back but he was able to control the volume of his voice. He met her heated gaze and took a deep breath before saying, "But I didn't care about what was supposed to happen; what I should've done when I saw you. Because whatever the cost, I want you to be in my life again... I want you back."

The sudden softness of his voice took her aback, almost making her regret everything that she had said to him. But no matter how guilty she felt, it couldn't change her mind, because it was no longer about just him and her.

The years she had spent away from Academy City had thought her so much. She had made new friends, and found a new home where her esper level didn't matter. She learned that not everything can be obtained through hard work alone, that sometimes, it's up to the universe to decide. And with this, she learned not to strive to be better than everyone else but to be better than her previous self.

This was what solidified her decision. She was going be better than the Misaka Mikoto from from three years ago.

"I think you're right about me still having feelings for you," she blurted out softly as she looked at her feet. And when she met his gaze again, his eyes were wide in surprise and hope. "But this isn't about that. This isn't about us."

She saw confusion enter his expression. "Mikoto, what—?"

"I want you to go back to Academy City—alone," she told him in a gentle voice, and it hurt her to see the pain in his eyes but she knew what she was doing was right. "I'm not gonna leave with you, Touma. No matter what happens." She took a step back, because she wanted to escape as soon as she could to prevent him from seeing how difficult it was for her to say all these things. "I won't leave everything for you again."

Her voice broke, and she took that as her cue to turn around and run. Faintly, she could hear his voice calling out to her but she ignored it. Spending more time with him would just hurt both of them more.

He was left standing on the same place with an arm stretched out in a futile attempt to reach out to her. He couldn't even chase after her retreating figure, too stunned to order his feet to move.

Because at that moment, he had truly lost her.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

This chapter is... blergh. But anyway, the song is _**Kismet by Silent Sanctuary**_. it's the same song that they used in the serenade scene XD

I really don't think this is good enough but i've been getting reviews and PMs for so long that I figured I should really focus on updating this. Also, apparently the polls said i should do this first. I'm not satisfied with this because to me it sounded a bit forced... and I kinda actually forced the words out of me XDD

by the way,** I appreciate you guys asking about this story. It lets me know that more people than I actually think likes this :D** I have 5 people who likes this! XD but **warning, I don't like it when people tell me (demand) to update** because seriously, **I do this in my own free time between classes, projects and hellish exams and I don't get paid.** Being a fanfiction writer is not a full-time occupation **so please, stop those reviews/messages**. It just gets me more irritated and makes me want to update the story a lot less

Anyway, back to the polls, I'll restart the polls so you guys can vote again :))) and please do vote. I do try to please people other than myself. Hence, this update! hahahaha

...I have nothing else to talk about... I need the new Railgun Manga chapter...

**If you liked it, please Review or leave a Favorite or a Follow! **Thanks! :D

**~61wisampa**


	7. Here Tonight

**Disclaimer: To Aru isn't mine and the song used was Here Tonight by Hale**

* * *

><p><strong>Here Tonight<strong>

Touma had been running around the city for almost an hour, looking for any sign of the hazel haired girl he had just been with. It had been raining hard for several minutes now and he was already soaked, his clothes clinging to him heavily and taking most of the heat from his body.

But he didn't stop looking. If Mikoto was still the same person Touma had hoped she was, then she would still be walking around the city, walking under the rain because of some poetic notion that it would help her hide her tears.

He cursed himself internally. It seemed like all he did was hurt her and make her cry. He hated himself a little because of that.

His lungs burned from the effort as his paced slowed down. He panted heavily as he decelerated to a stop, leaning on his knees as he caught his breath. He continued to look around, hoping he'd find her soon.

He really should've bought a SIM card and got her number. That just added to one of many regrets on his list.

He began to jog again, refusing to stop, and as he turned around a corner, he found a lone figure sitting on a bench. Everyone else were either inside the several shops on the street or walking carefully on the sidewalk with an umbrella in hand. He stopped as he recognized her hazel hair, now thoroughly soaked by the rain like the rest of her body.

If she heard him approach, she didn't show it. Even when he was standing beside the bench, staring at her as he panted heavily, she kept her eyes on the pavement in front of her, he bangs hiding her eyes. He tried to think of something to say, but after several seconds of silence, he merely sat beside her, keeping a respectable distance between them.

He ran a hand through his wet hair as the rain continued to fall. He leaned back on the bench, tilting his head up as to catch the droplets on his face. It almost felt soothing, to stay under the rain like this. It was as if the falling water was caressing his cheeks and washing away all his worries.

His chest lightened and his head cleared, and finally, he began to understand Mikoto's choice.

He let out a deep breath, realizing how much of a jerk he had been. She was right. It wasn't just about what they felt about each other right now nor was it just about them. Everything was still a mess: their relationship before and now. He realized that even though this had been a long time coming, for him to finally admit what he felt for her, he had rushed into things. Whatever happened to them years ago couldn't be erased by a week of silly courtship, and it definitely couldn't be fixed by a few confessions of love.

They would need time, and time was something they didn't have right now—time to heal, to forgive and to learn to love again.

"Why are you still here?" he heard her ask quietly, breaking him from his reverie.

He forced a smile. Although he understood, it didn't mean that it didn't hurt to accept it. "I can't leave you." he told her just as gently. "I know this won't change anything, but I care about you too much."

She didn't reply, even as he stared at her through the falling rain. He noticed her shivering a little and realized that she might've refrained using her ability to warm herself up because of all the water.

Sighing, he stood up and offered her a hand. "C'mon." She merely looked at his open palm as he continued. "The hotel I'm staying at is just around the block. I don't wanna risk you getting sick by letting you go back to campus at that state."

She didn't move, and for a moment, he thought she'd turn him down. But then her hand reached out and clasped around his, their freezing hands offering no heat to each other.

Idly, he wondered if that was how they were now—devoid of warmth and unable to give anything to the other.

"Okay," was her soft reply.

–

The rain was still pouring as Touma waited for Mikoto to finish changing in the bathroom. He had offered her dry clothes and a towel for the time being, giving her privacy to change out of her wet clothes.

He himself had changed once she was inside the bathroom and was now in warm clothes. But the lack of her presence had left him time to think, to absorb what she had really said to him earlier.

She wasn't coming back. There was nothing he could do or say that would make her come back with him to Academy City.

He could already feel his heart breaking as he recalled her words. He had thought it would be enough, that showing her what he truly felt about her would make her fall back in love with him.

_'But that wasn't the problem._' He thought to himself. _'She told me she still have feelings for__me but she still won't go.'_ And to him, this fact only made it worse, because then he'd return to Academy City, still hoping and waiting that she'd come back for him.

He looked up from his sitting position on the bed when the bathroom door opened. She hesitantly walked out, wearing one of his white button up shirts that was too big on her. They were long enough that he couldn't see the boxers he had leant her (assuming that she did wear the—_no. Don't go there_).

There was a stretch of silence as he stared at her. Heaven knows he had had dreams of seeing her in his clothes, and as good as he thought she looked in them, he also knew that it didn't have the context he'd wanted.

His eyes went back to meet hers when she cleared her throat and hesitantly said, "Thanks for the clothes."

"Y-yeah," he stuttered, his fantasies vanishing as he remembered that this was an image he wouldn't be seeing in the future. He tried to memorize it, to keep it in a safe and lock at the very back of his mind but stopped himself. It would only hurt more in the future.

He shook his head, hoping to dispel any more thoughts. "Make yourself comfortable," he said, gesturing to his bed. But then, he realized what that could've implied and hastily added, "I-I mean, sit down. I uh... figured you'd be tired after... and uhm... not necessarily beside me if you're not... uh..." he promptly stood up, walking to the opposite side of the room from her, "I'll just stand up. You can rest while you wait for the rain to stop... or your clothes to dry."

It took her another moment before she nodded and accepted his offer. She looked as uncomfortable as he felt, as they stayed there in silence. She was avoiding looking at his direction at all cost, instead choosing to stare at the floor as she fiddled with the buttons of the shirt she was wearing. All the while his eyes never left her, knowing that it could possibly be the last time he could.

After what felt like hours, she spoke, softly as she finally met his eyes, "Look, Touma, about what I said earlier—"

"You're staying, I get it. And I can't change your mind." He interrupted, knowing it would just hurt him more if he had to hear it from her twice. His voice was sad but accepting, like he had resigned to that fact. He looked at her expression and when all he saw was guilt on her face as she averted her gaze once more, he knew there was nothing he could do. "I can't say I completely understand because I don't, but that's the problem now, isn't it? I don't know anything about you anymore—about your life here. And because of that, I really don't have the right to make you leave."

She didn't say anything when he paused, so he took a breath and said, "You told me you still have feelings for me," she visibly flinched but he continued, "but even then you won't go no matter what I do... so maybe it's different." She glanced back at him and she met her gaze, slowly making his way towards her. "Maybe you just needed closure, like our parents think. Maybe you don't really feel that way about me anymore and just think that because we never actually ended things between us." He suddenly laughed softly at his own words, stopping a mere meter away from her. "Well, I guess there was never really anything to end... we never got together..."

"Touma..."

He shook his head, stopping whatever reassuring words she was about to say. "Just tell me you don't love me anymore." He said, surprising her a little, "I'll be okay, I promise. I'll be hurt for a while but I'll move on. And I'll never bother you again. Just..." he took one more step, closing the gap between them, "Look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me."

She merely stared back at him, her mouth hanging open but there were no words.

He looked at her, pleading, "...tell me..."

For a moment, it seemed like she was going to say it, but then she said, "I can't lie to you."

He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair as he turned away from her, "You know, you're making this a lot harder for the both of us."

"Harder than this past three years? Well then I'm sorry but I can't lie about this because I've been lying to myself for a long time, telling myself that I don't love you anymore when I still—"

She was cut off when his lips suddenly crashed into hers, his hands cupping both sides of her face. It was like instinct that she immediately responded to his kiss, closing her eyes as she gripped onto his biceps to hold herself upright.

They kissed fervently, savouring the feeling of each others lips. They've been wanting to do this for so long that they easily lost themselves to each other, keeping their bodies close and feeling each other's warmth.

They were panting when they parted for air. His eyes remained closed and her gaze stayed on his lips as their foreheads touched. She could feel his breath mingling with hers as he whispered, "Stay here... just for tonight."

Her eyes darted up, catching his eyes as they opened to meet hers. She wanted to. _Kami_, she really wanted to—to be with him, even just for one more night. But she knew this would hurt them more if she did so she asked. "Are you sure?"

"_Please_," he asked again, his voice hoarse and soft in plea. He stared into her eyes desperately as he said, "You can run away from me tomorrow. You can forget that this whole day ever happened just..." he struggled a little with his words until he murmured into her lips, "I need you, even just tonight." He pleaded again. "I_really _need you here tonight..."

She moved her hands to clasp over his, squeezing it as she nodded.

Their lips once again connected. It didn't take long until their clothes were discarded and they fell onto the bed, because at least for tonight, they were together.

–

When Touma woke up the next day, he was alone. And the only evidence that Mikoto was ever there was the note on his table that said _'Take care' _with a little Gekota drawing below it.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

_**hides behind a big ass shield **_okay, before you throw anything unpleasant at me for not updating so long let me just say that i had been busy with school on those early weeks and for the past month, I've been busy with a new fandom and was sucked into it and was unable to think of anything else. especially anything related to To Aru soooooo I'm sorry! My focus has also been on another story (that I'm not planning on publishing yet because I have no idea where it's headed) which is fortunately Kamikoto-ish as well soooooo i haven't been fully neglecting To Aru fandom yay! :D anyways

**I literally just finished this five minutes ago** just because **i got so sad after seeing that post about Othinus x Touma being canon and it became an outlet for another sad Forfeit chapter** XD **also because Vindex101 has been bugging me nonstop about updates** so thank him (or not) by reading his story about a drunk Mikoto. it's the **_A Certain (Un)Fortunate Incident. _**also, according to him, **that news was apparently false, hence i am now happy again XD**

I really squeezed my brain for this one and I still don't think it's that much good XD at least it's not very long hahaha i know some of you likes long chapters but it's hard to write long chapters. I'm not sure about the quality of this one soooo **is it okay?** I mean, i've been struggling with this story for a while now so I'm not sure how well i've been doing with it. **Does it hold up with the earlier chapters?**

I**'m also bumping up the ratings to M**. I read the Guidelines and suggested sexual themes are Rated M material so yeah... XD No worries, I won't do anything explicit. If I do there would be at least 10 warning before the start of the chapter

One last thing, **to Vindex101, I lied! XD I said this would be the last chapter of Forfeit but there's one more coming up!** I'll try my best to post it within this week. Actually, I'm starting right now! Not sure about the happy ending I wanted buuuuut

hehe

I hope you'll stick until the end! One more chapter! :D

**~~61wisampa**


	8. Before I Let You Go

**Disclaimer: I still don't own To Aru, or Mikoto, or Touma, or the song Before I Let You Go by Freestyle. But I used Sarah Geronimo's version for the more upbeat note hahaha**

* * *

><p><strong>Before I Let You Go<strong>

Mikoto hugged her legs to her chest, burying her face on her knees as she tried to make sense of what she had done.

She _ran away_. When she woke up beside Touma that morning, tangled under the sheets, the first thing she did was get dressed and leave. She almost didn't leave the note, not knowing what to say after what had happened between them that night.

_Take care. _She didn't know what possessed her to leave what was possibly the stupidest and most inappropriate message in the world when leaving after a one night stand—(though she didn't really want it to be one and she would actually enjoy anoth—_shut up, brain_). But she guessed that was the problem. She couldn't _think_.

She went back straight to her dorm only to find Alice who was about to leave for her class, and though the girl was almost late, it didn't stop Alice from asking her for _details._ But after she had explained to her friend what had happened—what she had done—Alice didn't waste time reprimanding her and telling her that _'no, you DO NOT just leave the guy you're in love with in bed after you had__sex with him!'_.

She really didn't need Alice telling her that she messed up. She already felt bad enough as it was, but of course, feeling bad won't make things right, Alice had told her before leaving her in their dorm room so that she could think about what she had done.

She didn't know how long she'd been there but when she checked her phone for the time, she realized it was only four hours before _his_ plane was set to leave.

She closed her eyes and buried her face in her arms. She didn't know what to do. Everything between them was just so messed up that she couldn't tell what was right or wrong anymore.

But as she thought about what happened last night, how his lips felt on hers and how his warmth embraced her, she knew what she shouldn't do.

She wasn't going to let them end the way they did three years ago.

–

Maybe it was wishful thinking, waiting for Mikoto to at least bid him goodbye at the airport, but it was hard not to feel that way. Touma knew that it was almost certain that she wouldn't come—especially not after what had happened the night before.

Although he knew that night had probably messed their relationship up beyond repair, he couldn't find it in himself to regret it. It had been like a dream; the way she gasped when his lips met her skin, her tight embrace as he moved inside her and the way she murmured his name like it was some prayer. It had been the best night of his life and the only regret he had was that it would probably the last he'd ever have with her.

When the announcement for his flight sounded overhead, he sighed and stood up, taking his luggage with him. He was about to head to the boarding area when he stopped, finding Mikoto standing a few meters in front of him.

She was panting lightly, and it didn't take him long to realize that she had rushed to the airport just to see him off. That knowledge made him smile, so unbelievably happy, even though this meeting would be nothing but goodbye.

He took a careful step towards her, almost afraid that she'd retreat, but when she didn't, he took another and another until she was just an arm's length from her. He didn't reach out to her, fearing that he might cross the line if he did. Instead, he murmured, almost breathlessly, "You came."

Sh smiled a little in return, nodding lightly. She met his eyes as she said, "I couldn't let this end the way it did three years ago... I'm better than that now."

His lip twitched just a little higher. "This?"

"Yes." She affirmed. "This. _Us. _I think we were both too immature and stupid to pick the right choice back then."

"True. Especially the stupid part. With me, that is." He joked, causing her to laugh a little. "This does seem a little like deja vu, only this time, I'm the one who's leaving."

"We just never seem to get it right, huh? First, we were too young, and now we got the timing all wrong." With her words, he realized that her decision hadn't changed, and even though he'd known it wouldn't, the fact that she came brought his hopes up a little. She must've noticed the change in his mood because she continued. "I'm still staying." She repeated, "But I won't let this end like this."

He waited for her explanation, wondering what exactly it was that she meant. When she averted her eyes and seemed to struggle for words, he prompted her, "End like what?"

"Like there's nothing between us," she met his eyes, "Like I don't care about you anymore, and before I let you go I..." she paused, taking his free hand and lacing her fingers with his, "I want to say I love you... I just realized I never really told you that."

He broke out into a grin, unable to contain his joy. He brought her hand up to his lips, kissing it lightly as he said, "I love you too... and I never realized that before either. I guess... I guess you never had to tell me, not when you didn't try to deny it even this past week. It would've been easier but... you didn't tell me you didn't, even when I asked you to."

She took her hand from him to pull him close and embrace him, and he took that chance to leave a kiss on her forehead. He held her tightly, savouring whatever limited moment they had with each other and memorizing the way she fit in her arms. He put his nose against her hair and inhaled her scent, tucking it into the very back of his mind so he wouldn't forget.

"What now?" he whispered, unwilling to let the moment end just yet.

Her arms tightened around him before she said, "Can you wait?" she asked hesitantly, "For me, I mean?"

"Of course," he replied, pushing her back a little so he could put his forehead against hers and meet her eyes. "I've waited three years... I can wait longer for you."

Her eyes began to water as she nodded. She closed her eyes and the tears ran down her cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumb before lifting her chin up so he could plant a soft kiss on her lips.

With the remaining warmth from her embrace, and her scent, and the touch of her lips with him, they parted with a promise of a future together.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

**I am ashamed. Here's the last chapter as promised but this could've been better.**.. unfortunately I wasn't sad enough to write a chapter for this sad fic. I blame it on Steven Bomb. I've been fangirling the whole day. But alas!** It is done!** This... this _**angst**_ is finally over! I don't wanna write angsty fics anymore! It drains the hell out of me XDDD by the way, i literally only proofread it once so there must be a lot of typos or wrong grammar here haha sorry...

I'm pretty glad I vamped the rating up to M last chapter because at least I can get away with some more things in this one hahaha I still don't know how to write smut so no, please don't make me write one. I'll be terrible at it. That or I'll die from embarrassment before I could finish. Maybe when i'm a hell lot older XD

well,** I hope you guys at least enjoyed the ride?** Even if this last chapter is probably not the best, I hope you weren't too disappointed XD and please don't ask for a sequel. You know I can't commit! haha but seriously though, I'm glad I'm done with this. I can finally focus on that other story I'm trying to write :DDD not sure when I'll post that (if i ever will) but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day, right? little steps

welp, I've got no more words to say I guess... again, i hope you at least liked this chapter. and if you liked this story and haven't read my others, go check it out on my profile! i have some stories I deem better than this... not just because of the angst buuuuut hahaha

**I'll see you guys again soon! :D**

**~~61wisampa**


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